A word on being a nerd

I have finally come to grips with the fact that I am a nerd. I first came out to Renee, and she was very supportive. She also knew i-t all along, but let me come to the conclusion on my own. I have to admit, all the signs were there and have been steadily increasing. First of all I like science, a trait which automatically makes one a nerd-suspect. I did well in school, also a nerd characteristic, and have never dated or kissed anyone (as it goes for many nerds). The symptoms really intensified once I started vet school. I found jokes about DNA and other biological components extremely amusing. Also, I discovered that when I hadn't showered for three days I didn't care because I needed to study and my pants have been riding higher and higher. I have also had the disturbing thought that dressing in costume and attending a Star Trek convention "really isn't that weird". The moment I knew happened when my pharmacology professor asked our class if anyone likes classical music. Before I knew it, my hand was raised (so were other people's). Rather than flee out of the room as they do on the Maury Show I froze in my seat, perplexed. I felt a range of conflicting emotions; I wanted to do calculus and give myself a wedgie at the same time. After a visit to the G. L. B. T. office (that's Geek, Loser, Big nerd, and Total weiner), I accepted who I was. I now own my nerdness and am working on promoting nerd pride. Now that I know I fear only one thing: having to marry another nerd. This fear came about in my neurobiology class when one of the professors for the class (I think her name is Dr. Vulcainavoa or something but I refer to her as The Vulcan) was giving the lecture. Now, most of our professors put in pictures of their pets and family and tell us stories to break up the monotony. So, when The Vulcan put up pictures of her kids it was no surprise. However, these kids were wearing sweaters circa 1985, had messy hair sticking out everywhere, and were playing a piano. They were only like 3 years old, and even I wanted to beat them up. "Wow", I thought, "how'd this happen?" It was then that The Vulcan mentioned that her husband is a PHYSICIST!!!! Being the nerd that I am, I formulated this equation: nerd + nerd = more nerds! (I am researching the outcome of a geek + loser cross. I'll let you all know my results). I cringed at the thought of my future children undergoing beatings, wedgies, swirlies, and other humiliating acts by the cool kids. Tragically, most nerds have to marry other nerds for lack of anyone else and this cycle perpetuates. I pray that I will break that cycle and spare my children undeserved berating. Spread the word of nerd awareness to everyone you know. Together, we can change the world! It is with this that I bid you farewell: live long, and prosper.